76 Days

Hiiii!!!! It has been 76 days since I last posted on here. So much has happened since my last post and I have no idea where to begin. I have not been able to get to sleep before 2am for this past 4 nights so I don't know why I thought tonight would be any different - I don't know what's going on!? But I have felt inspired tonight and thought I would update all of you :) - not that anyone really reads this blog because I don't really put it out there haha

I am currently listening to Kenny G and I absolutely love it! My parents had KG cds when I was younger and the only one I liked was the Christmas album but his music is really good and relaxing :)

I will be a bride in 46 days!!! It is coming so quickly and I could not be more excited! I picked up my dress last week and I cannot wait to wear it on June 7th! There is still so much left to do though - Matt and I went over to my parents today and all we got done was mulching the flower beds and the stand for the glasses - there was a whole list of things to do but we just ran out of time. I am going to have to start going over there on all my days off or days that I do not work right smack in the middle of the day! I have been working on a playlist for the wedding and that's easy and hard all at the same time. I think I will add a couple Kenny G songs ;-) My best friend and Maid of Honor is throwing me a bridal shower on May 17th - I am super excited about that! 

SCHOOL - this is the reason that I have not posted because I do not even know where to begin explaining this but ya know what?! I don't really need to...I'll just give a nutshell - I was really stressed out with taking 5 classes, working full time, trying to spend time with Matt, and trying to plan a wedding and I ended up in the hospital with my blood pressure being 200/some # over 100 (normal being 120/80) - I had not taken my BP medication for about 2 weeks for some reason I don't even know. I just didn't. And boy did that doctor make me feel two feet tall. So...I ended up withdrawing from all 5 classes (Victimology, Corrections, Counseling, Developmental Psychology, Sociology) - I was stupid for taking all those classes in the first place thinking I could do all that and work full time and plan a wedding. Nope. I already have a problem with stress without planning a wedding. I have already registered for classes for the fall though :) 

Let's see...what else has been going on since February 3rd...I had gone to the doctor a couple of days after my hospital visit (which I will add that it took them hours and 3 medications later to get my BP to go down) and my doctor said that I HAVE to lose weight soon or I am going to be on her worry list. She wanted me to lose 10lbs by the beginning of May and well, it's almost the beginning of May - I have been eating a lot better but nowhere near perfect and I have such a hard time on the weekends :( I also have not been working out like she has instructed me to do multiple times. I just cannot seem to bring myself to do it. I swear, I use to be so active but the past year to a year and half I have just have gotten so inactive and well...lazy. And now that I am not in school I do have time to be active but it's bringing myself to be active - I literally will sit there or stand there and cannot bring myself to get up and moving - WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? When I make a to do list, I keep putting on there to be active for a constant 30 mins (keeping my heartbeat up like my doctor has told me) - but I never am able to check that off of my to do list. When I am at work I can bust some tail but at home it's like my body goes into relax mode. I am thinking about getting C4 - I had used it before and boy does it get you moving!!! I am going to try to get to GNC tomorrow - I also want to try a Quest Bar everyone is talking about in the world of iifym, so maybe I will pick up a couple of them but I have a feeling they will be quite expensive! 

Well, I am going to TRY to get some sleep now - I did take a meletonin so hopefully it will kick in soon. There is more that I want to write but just not quite sure how I want to say it. Wait, let me try. My whole entire world is Matt. I am so in love and wouldn't have it any other way but I feel like I need other things in my life as well - I need hobbies and or other passions. 

I will leave on that note - but I will explain more later when I can get all my thoughts together :)

With love, 

Krista Marie 

P.s. Matt's new nickname for me is Chickpea :) DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FAT IS IN 4 table spoons of hummus?? It is like 60g!!!!!!!!! Let's just say I have not touched hummus other than using it as a spread on my tomato sandwich since the day I ate those 4 table spoons with celery and then was still left eating a few pieces of celery alone. Goodness gracious (I have been trying the iifym thing - I'll let you know how I feel about it soon!) 

GOODNIGHT xo

Happy Monday!

Good morning sunshines! It is a Monday and it’s going to be a wonderful Monday, I will make sure of it! I stayed up working on my homework last night till about 1:30ish and then tossed and turned for quite a while (stressing) and then I was up at about 6am this morning.

I was looking back at my older facebook pictures and thought ‘...and I thought I was fat back then!?!?!?’ I was sooo little back even a year and half ago - WHAT HAPPENED?! I got comfortable and started eating a lot and eating SWEETS thanks to my Matthew! We started our healthier eating yesterday! We went to the grocery store and actually got a bunch of natural/organic healthy-ish foods for $144!!!! I couldn't believe it! Last night we had potatoes and homemade berry ice cream that was YUMMY and so simple! Just a frozen banana, some frozen strawberries and blackberries, and a little bit of almond milk all blended up!

I am so super swamped with homework these days. I had a week where I wasn’t feeling well at all and I got so behind on my school work so now that I am feeling better, I am playing KETCHUP! hehe I am only supposed to work 30 hours during school and my boss scheduled me 37 and I’m like WHAT!?!? but I am just trying to be thankful that I have a job because there are people out there who don’t. I keep telling myself to just stay calm and go with the flow :)

I have a new favorite soda! It’s S. Pellegrino Sparking Natural Mineral Water :) It’s going to take the place of Dr.Pepper and to be honest, when drinking it out of a bottle it kind of reminds me of drinking beer - so it feels refreshing :) No dizziness or hangovers! hehe :)

I AM IN A REALLY GOOD MOOD FOR SOME REASON!!!!!! or maybe I am just loopy from a lack of sleep :)

I really need to get back on my homework and then I want to clean the bedroom and POSSIBLY the closet but we’ll see how much time I have before I have to be at work.

HAPPY MONDAY YAWL <3

Happy Monday!

*throwback monday*

hahahaha

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! I had an absolute wonderful Christmas...lots of family, food, and laughter! I am not sure how long this post will be because I am POOPED but we shall see! We had my parents over, my brother, his girlfriend, Matt's mama, his sister and her girlfriend, and his cousin :) We had a huge dinner that everyone put together - turkey, dressing, gravy, mash potatoes, mac & cheese, green beans, corn casserole, cranberry sauce and rolls!!!!

I got a lot of neat things for Christmas including a Chromebook from my brother that I am typing on right now!!!! This thing is pretty awesome :) :) :) I have a lot of cleaning up to do tomorrow so I am going to go ahead and hit the hay but I will write more very soon :)

Don't forget Jesus is the reason for the season <3

Krista Marie

Tis the Season to be JOLLY :)

It's 3 days till Christmas and I am still trying to get everything together but I am certainly jolly and in the spirit....but I cannot sleep :-/ it's 11:36pm and I have to be up at 5:30am and work a SEVENTEEN hour shift tomorrow...it's going to be a very  long day! I just took a meletonin which I have not taken in a about hmmm a week and a half maybe, I can't quite remember but that's good for me! :) 

I just turned 26 a couple of days ago and I just cannot believe I am 26!!!!! Not only am I 26 but I have been living in North Carolina for 6 years (minus the break when I lived in VA for a few months)...don't get me wrong, I am still a huge fan of Virginia but I know that God brought me to North Carolina for a reason and He brought Matthew to North Carolina (from NYC) for a reason :) 

When I was laying in bed, I was trying to sleep and I kept thinking about Kaitlyn, the little girl that I use to babysit. She is not so little anymore though. I started babysitting her when she was in the 2nd grade I believe. She had the same second grade teacher that I had, Mrs. Lowery, who was my FAVORITE teacher of all time!!! Anyway, I am almost positive she is a senior this year in high school and by golly she is gorgeous! I started to tear up laying in bed thinking about how she use to sit in my lap and do this goofy laugh in my face and sing "jerry jerry he's so harry..." Thinking back about how she was so goofy and funny and full of life and laughter - I really think she is the one that gave me my goofy side, like really! She was my little sunshine and I miss her dearly <3 I cannot wait to see her at our wedding, I hope she saves a dance for me :) Let me see if I can find some pictures of that little munchkin (I still see her as that lol) 

I am going through all of my facebook photos and WOW 1. I use to be really small and 2. I use to have alot of friends and had a lot of fun.....now I am overweight and don't hang out with anyone but Matt outside of work and school....I guess it's called getting older - I want a kid to play with! Or friends who would like to hang out without drinking :)

here's pictures of Kaitlyn and I when we were younger...

well, I need to be getting in the bed but I will write more later :) 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight :) 

Hungry for Change - Badfoodaholics Anonymous

Hello there! I am currently watching the documentary Hungry for Change - on Netflix! I definitely recommend watching it ;-) I have actually been thinking a lot about my this post, or I have had a lot thoughts rather and I would like to write about them. 

Badfoodaholics Anonymous - "BA"...so you know how people go to "AA" meetings...they need to have meetings for people who have trouble with food! Well, alcoholics take each day by day. They don't tell themselves they will never drink again or even that they won't drink for a month - they say "I will not drink today,"I will get through today without picking up a drink" - well, that is what I have decided to do with my eating and medicine <-- I will talk about that in more detail soon. Also, alcoholics do not become sober on their own, they always have a Higher Power who helps them. Well, I asked God last night to help me. I asked Him for willpower because I cannot do this on my own...I just keep going in circles over and over and I am really wearing my body down and to think I AM 25 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!! I honestly feel like I am 65. I ache so much all the time! I use to be so active and now I struggle to get around and its miserable! These days I spend A LOT of time (and money) trying to lose weight - is it working? NO! I have tried body by vi, vegetarian, vegan, eat to live, live fit...and hardly any exercise! Matt quickly caught onto my cycle of try this diet for two weeks then try another for two weeks then another for two weeks....he started to say "So, what diet are we doing this week?" - I am sensitive, that's not something I like hearing! So I pray to my God, that He will give me the willpower and strength to get through each day - each day help me stay clean :)

Medicine - I am still addicted to caffeine and night time medicine (not every day and night though) - and ya know, I really started taking these once I moved in with Matt!!! And do you know what night time medicine does? MAKES ME HUNGRY - it makes me hungry for sweets and salts! I actually took Advil PM a little bit ago because I was cramping and I was wide awake and I really need to get sleep which I never can sleep good on my period - well, I am sitting here fighting with myself on whether to go get something to eat or just grab a bottle of water. Matt LOVES sweets and bread and chips and all things bad and I don't think I can get him to change that so obviously we have a lot of those types of foods in our house. I thought about trying to find a box with a lock on it where we can put all of those goodies in so that I can not get into them! I am currently on Effexor, mostly for anxiety, and I want to get off of it because I have realized that missing just ONE dose causes withdrawals and they are scary. I missed a dose the day before Thanksgiving which made my Thanksgiving not so great and I was very emotional. Then this past Monday I was so busy with school and work that I forgot to take it again and boy was I feeling it on Tuesday! I had Tuesday off THANK GOODNESS because I was completely non functional! I could hardly get out of bed and I was tearing up for no reason while laying in bed. I had exams to take and I couldn't because I was so out of if. I felt so numb and tingly like I had taken a whole bottle of Benedryl. It was AWFUL! That scares me. That little pill is so powerful. Well, I called my doctor on Thursday and asked her to wean me off of the medicine so she called in a smaller dose and said to take it every day for 2 weeks, then every other day for 2 weeks, then every third day for 2 weeks. She said that I may have sharp pains in my head so here I am today waiting for these sharp pains which I mean I had a headache but I wouldn't consider them a sharp pain. She also said I may feel dizzy and light headed so we shall see. I started the smaller dose today, well yesterday seeing that it is after midnight! I want to get off of everything! From prescriptions to OTC. My head/back/feet hurts, my first thought is 'hmmm acetaminophen or ibuprofen?' I have been trying to hold off on taking something and try to not think about it and sometimes the pain does seem to cease! I was like 'oh my back'...pop a pill. Same with 'oh I am tired and cannot fall asleep within the first couple of minutes'...I need a sleep aid. THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!! I am addicted and I really need to quit. I have some form of caffeine every single day , whether it's in a drink, a pill, shot, etc...I need caffeineaholics anonymous! That will fall under the badfoodaholics anonymous for sure! "I will not have any caffeine today" - oh can you imagine the withdrawals with the effexor and the no caffeine - I don't know that I can do all that at the same time BUT I do plan to cut out all pills that have caffeine in them (pain relievers, various diet pills, diuretics, etc), drinks, and chocolate. I do have yerba mate tea though that I will probably start drinking and/or green tea! Earl Grey and English Breakfast are good too! 

This is turned into a hefty little post now hasn't it!? :)

Why do I want to lose weight? Matt always tells me that I am beautiful and that I should not lose weight. Well, I want to feel comfortable in my body. I want to be able to go clothes shopping and be able to find SOMETHING that fits - I have the worst time with pants, especially work pants! I also want to feel better and be able to concentrate. I do not want to keep having bone and joint soreness. I want to have clearer skin! I want to fit into my wedding dress!!!!! I don't want to continue taking meds for my high blood pressure! When I become pregnant I want to eat healthy for the baby so I need to start NOW (not that I am pregnant!!!) I want to be faster at work. I don't want to be tired all the time anymore! I want natural ENERGY and energy that's going to last all day not just half of the day and then crash! I have heart disease on both sides of my family so it is crucial that I start NOW! 

well, I need to be getting to bed now - I am going to post pictures of our pantry how it looks RIGHT NOW and our fridge and then once I clean everything out and reorganize and hide the bad foods then I will take another picture! 

I hope everyone is cheerful and almost ready for the holidays! MERRY CHRISTMAS <3 

Krista Marie 

it's been quite a while...

Hi! I am currently listening to Push It radio on Pandora and Jump Around by House of Pain is on and reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire! <-- BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!! So, I made a couple of "vlogs" the other day and I am still deciding whether I want to actually be a "vlogger" or just a "blogger" LOL anyways, they have a  video tag in the vlog world that is 50 things about me and I think perhaps I may do that one....I had actually written down 50 things about me that Matt helped me with the night he proposed - where it's at? I am unsure LOL But he on the lookout for something of that nature soon ;-) 

I really need to get on the treadmill! My parents are letting Matt and I borrow their treadmill and I have yet to get on it because I AM LAZY - gotta face the truth :( AND I have been soooo tired lately, NOT COOL! 

Billie Jean is on :)

You know what, I am just going to go ahead and upload the videos that I have but beware they are raw and not that great at all!!!! Hmm...I having issues....I will probably have to create a youtube channel and just put them on there and put the link on here! 

I just got off the treadmill - my first time on one in a very long time (over a year) and I power walked 3 quarters of a mile in about 15 mins :) I think that's good for me! I was listening to Black Eyed Peas radio on Pandora - LMFAO came on, I enjoyed that one! 

Well, I need to get read for work and get some lunch!!! ttyl :)

-Krista Marie

First.

Hello. I have about 25ish minutes before my class starts so I thought I would write my first post on here! My fiance, Matthew actually made this blog title for me...and it couldn't be more perfect! I am in love with the color green, obviously and well my life is nowhere near easy. I have a ton of struggles and I thought maybe writing about them would help me with them.

Some little facts about me...
* I am a 25-year-old
* I am a Criminal Justice student & plan to become a Forensic Psychologist or Profiler
* I am so incredibly in love with my fiance and will be marrying him on June 7th of next year <3
* I am almost positive that I suffer from ADD / ADHD (my doctor is currently helping me with it or trying to at least)
* I am a supervisor at a pharmacy & if it weren't for my customers and 1 particular coworker I would absolutely hate my job. I am sure you will be reading my ventage on here soon...
* There is not one day that I do not stress
* I was diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) when I was 23/24 and have been on meds since then
* I was born and raised in Virginia (WOOP WOOP) but now...I am a North Carolinian :)
* I love New York City!
* I procrastinate MAJORLY :(
* I am so fascinated with the mind, crime, and murders - hense my profression goals hehe :)

Well...I need to be heading to class now...I will try and finish this later but with my procrastination it may take a while...it tooks me weeks to write this one :/

Peace & Love,
Krista